Of Men And Emotions

Is it a fad / fag(fatiguing or tedious work) or… I don’t know what word to use. The Lord God has shown in his glory in making a distinction between a man and a woman.

We are not self defining creatures nor are we autonomous moral agents.
I received a resignation letter from a respectable gentleman with words like “unbearable environment” and “I hope you take time to read my reasons for leaving without notice”.

Okay let me just say this from the onset that I have maximum respect for HR managers let alone lawyers who front to be in HR. I could never step up to the role of a HRP. Reason being…I catch feelings. Oh! yes and I am a man, feelings are definitely not a preserve for women.

When you see someone descending and descending, becoming a shadow of their former selves…..or who you thought they were….you sit back and wonder what to do.
Ladies portend better HR managers as opposed to men, reason being this is an emotional job with substantive use of such phrases as “lay off” , “non-performance”, “restructuring” all to indicate the end of a job. So how do you end someones job in a nice way and still remain friends?

Believe you me, men cannot just handle emotions…well they cannot handle emotions as well as women. That is why we do not do very well in HR (my friend disagrees…HR requires people with a hold over their emotions, so lets agree to disagree). And whenever a man is pissed off or wants to vent their frustrations at the end of a job – men please do not put it in writing.

I am talking from experience here. Some things are better left unsaid. Some statements could seem light at the onset but have very heavy repercussions. I, for one went emotional at a certain point in my career where I was tired of waiting and thus did an email.

Ladies and gentlemen, if a time comes and it definitely will that you feel the need to put anything on record, please think twice. In my case, I was lucky to have a mentor who kicked some sense between my ears but I landed myself in very bad books with an employer. Emails are as bad as the social media because it will forever be on record that you said it while in the midst of an emotional tantrum….

My dear friend, seeing that you have made the same mistake that I did eons ago, I kindly refused to take your resignation letter and instead I prepared a replacement that was a bit light. This is a perfect case of bending over backwards for you. You did not give a damn my friend, instead casually pushing me to summarize while I went all the way out to do a sane resignation for you my dear friend. This is a case of sticking my neck too far into the woods.

How do you tell an employer “thank you very much for the opportunity that you gave me to be poached” – first of all the English here is murdered, but all the same, poached? dang! no! no! no! how do you do this? Who says that! Like seriously, who cares that you are leaving to join a competitor…the organisation did not owe you more than the salary you were paid for the services you delivered……..we are all journeying, you might come this way again. You should have left it at opportunity.

Little kids with teething problems will one day chew bones like they never had milk teeth. Case in point is a situation where you my dear friend had too much to swallow. Greener pastures or not, always leave the place you found better than you found it. That is a golden rule. Secondly, the green grass could only last during spring time…but winter is coming! Or probably the grass is greener because it is being fertilized by shit…well am just saying!

That is not to say that I would not be wishing you all the best in your future endeavors, but that some people have the memory of an elephant.

I like Steve Jobs who used to talk of a concept “joining the dots backwards”.

Fundamentally, we are all alike. The difference comes in when and how you tackle your emotions. Emotionally intelligence is becoming key in the quickly evolving workplaces.

The truth be told women, know for a fact that they are emotional and have actively learnt how to deal with it professionally. Men on the other hand deny being emotional while occasionally sampling emotions with a big spoon. Couple that with male ego and you have a wild one.

So much for my rumblings.

A brighter day is coming.

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